liar liar pants on fire

Oh, dishonesty. So useful, so helpful, so pleasing an accomplice. There is nothing like dishonesty to get you out of trouble, to avoid their judgement, to get into their good books. But there is also nothing like dishonesty to get you into trouble, to suffer their worst judgment, and to get out of their good books. There are some whose lies I can't bear. Excuses for not coming out to cotch, stories to make themselves seem like the goody – why do I smile and say 'that's OK'? Sometimes because I'm a wuss, sometimes because I know it doesn't do any good to stir up beef. But how much frustration it stirs up in my mind to hear their words, to know that they're lying, and to look them in the eye (or in some cases, hear them on the phone) and think 'how the fuck can I trust them again?'

Half-hearted truth and insincerity are almost as bad. Why would you say something if you didn't mean it? To avoid hurting their feelings? Yeah, I've done it before. To not seem like a bitch? OK. Because you don't have the guts to spit out the truth, and then go behind their back and rant about for two hours? Two-faced bitch.

Of course, the world's not black and white. I'm not an honest person, if honesty requires 100% commitment. Some things actually don't need to be divulged. They might be insignificant, but divulging them would add nothing to the world. So what's the boundary that makes a white lie a lie? The intention? Are good intentions enough to make a lie white? Well, saying that you're going out with friends to a restaurant when you're actually going to a restaurant and THEN to a club is a white lie, isn't it? The intention there is to keep yourself from trouble. Saying that you didn't get off with that boy when you actually did – that's not a white lie. The intention there is triple-edged: to save your relationship, to keep yourself from trouble, and to protect their feelings, so the intention is mostly to look after others' feelings. Therefore, good intentions do not make for a white lie.

So is it the consequences? If your parents found out you were actually clubbing, then the worst that happens is you get grounded (although that IS quite a big deal for us socialites ; P), yet if you were found to have snogged another boy, the consequences would be far further-reaching: a relationship split, i.e. DRAMA. You get called a ho? Your boyfriend, now you've broken up, gets off with multiple girls and you end up crying in your pillow. And possibly deciding to find solace in more physical activites?

Right, I watch too much daytime TV. I don't think it's the consequences.

Hey, covering up ADULTERY (muaha, I sound like such a puritan) does not invite sympathy either. So maybe it's what you're covering up that decides what kind of lie you're telling. In the first case, you're covering up going out -

OK I just realised, the only reason I consider the first case to be a white lie is because I think that lying to parents is alright. Erm, discriminative much? Haha, that's so telling of my own morality. And of my respect for my elders. Oh sod the elders. If they want my respect, they'll have to earn it. Why is an older person more respectable?! That's another debate altogether, one which I might discuss laterzzzzz.

So, lying to your parents seems to be alright, because we're all used to it. Well it's their fault they're so controlling. WE WANT FREEDOM. But they don't give us freedom, and if we tell them, then they'll keep an ever tighter hold on us. I certainly don't lie to my parents: I tell them the vital details, but I don't tell them every single thing I do.

Anyway, let's stop analysing mine and my parents' glorious relationship. I do think it's WHAT you're covering up that makes the difference. Say if you left out the fact that you have a secret shrine to McFly (this is wholly unrepresentative of my own life. Hum.) that's a white lie, isn't it? But covering up ADULTERY isn't a white lie.

Maybe I've got it all wrong. After all, I'm a good girl, and don't lie at all, do I?

The point is, the times that I've lost a friendship due to honesty are few and far between, but they're there. And they're not embedded in the past. They're floating around, slowly approaching. Gah, what pisses me off isn't what you're lying about – it's simply that you're lying! You watch out, bitch; don't lie to me or you'll lose my trust.

xxxx

i'm such a thief

Big news of the week: I got an interview! Very, very happy. The thing that most amuses me is the fact that, on Tuesday night, I went home, asked my mum whether there had been any post delivered on that day. She answered 'no' but I went to check anyway. What do I find, but a letter addressed to me from my college, and which I am convinced is a rejection letter because of its slim appearance. I open it and it's an invitation to interview!... And I glance at the postmark date and it's 13 November. So it's been sitting in my house for... 18 days. What a blithering idiot I am. And I could have been driven to work much harder if I'd known back then..

Important thing is, I saw it. Imagine if I'd seen it only the day after my interview? Gah, I think I'd actually have beaten myself up right there and then. But AHHHHH i'm so excited, and quite nervous! I'm calmer and more confident than before, but grrrrrr still have to do so much!

Just took my SAT II Subject Tests this morning. Had to wake up at bloody 5.55 in the morning, and left a little later than scheduled. Anyway, skip to the actual tests - they didn't leave me feeling as bad as the SAT I did. That's probably cause two of the tests were French and Latin, both of which I'm well immersed in. The other one, Maths II, wasn't so good. But ah well.

At the bus stop on my way back, there was a salesman trying to sell 'Lebera' SIM cards at a shoddy little stall by the bus shelter. I watched a middle-aged woman looking at the stall and then going over to ask him about it. I thought 'poor woman, she's gonna get scammed'.

As she came back next to me and tried to look for her purse, she gently pushed my elbow accidentally, and for this, she apologised. So I thought, 'argh, have to at least warn her'

'What's his deal that's he offering?'
'Well I've got a son in Iraq and calling him would only cost 7p a minute, and my daughter is in Ireland and he says it would only cost 4p a minute.'
'Oh.. you should careful [to make sure] that you're not being scammed'
'Am I?'
'Well I don't know, he might be, it's easy to scam people like this'
'Yes, and I'm easily scammed...'

At this point he came over and asked me if I wanted a SIM and I said 'GOD NO. No it's ok : )' The woman said to him, 'I'll buy it on my way back, not now.' After a sterner assertion from her he finally left us.

Then she thanked me for helping her and told me about how her purse got stolen earlier this week. Poor woman. That man looked well dodgy though, as did the whole 'deal'. He wasn't even trying to publicise, he stood behind tiny stall and miserably attempted to sell his product by freakin' mumbling. GET SOME TRAINING YOU IDIOT.

Another horror of my day is getting off my bus and having my eyes meet the sight of four 12-year-old-ish girls from my 'hood wearing a collection of tracksuits, UGGs, fluorescent yellow, fluorescent pink, standard jeggings... My eyes were in dire need of being rescued.

Then - I'm practically drowning here - my sister showed me a pair of heels she bought from Primark (PRIMARK?!) and her jewggings. Wahey.

xxxx

ps, sorry, this week I'm not doing the features of the week (choon/vid/pic of the week). No time! I'll treat you after the interview though : )

Finally, the Noughties: LG

What does LG remind you of? No, Life's not Good. Life's all about Gaga.

There is no doubt that, although GaGa has only filled two years of this decade, the Noughties will not be noughty (or naughty) without her. The heavy fashion element embedded in her music, her epic (euch, ever since those Classics extension classes about the Iliad, all other words that could stand for 'epic' is completely alien to me) stage performances and costumes, and the groundbreaking/breakthrough 'Just Dance', all of these are contributions that have undeniably rocketed the direction of our music culture. The highlights of the debut 'The Fame' definitely include 'Poker Face' and 'LoveGame'. I – am – sick of 'Just Dance'.

And right now a splitting headache is entering my head because of that silly sugar drink coffee. Breathe.

Back to the point, the artiness of the 'Paparazzi' video makes it my favourite video by far, though the song itself is not as high in my rankings. My former love for 'Starstruck' and 'Paper Gangsta' has since subsided. PG is great apart from the chorus, which should be the best part of a song, and the only bit I like about 'Starstruck' is the synthesised voice. 'Eh eh (there's nothing else I can Say)’ is quite nice, albeit lacking in energy.

And now as the eleventh month of 2009 dies, I come to fully appreciate her new mini-album. I cannot stress enough how much I love the song 'Telephone'. Its release as a single comes not too long after my downloading of 'The Fame Monster', whose sound I – surprisingly – prefer to that of the 'The Fame'. It's a slight move away from that heavy synth-filled sound, towards something that is slightly mellower but that still retains a heavy, if not heavier, beat. The only way I can describe 'The Fame Monster' is that it sounds bigger. Wahey to my writing skills! Ok attempt number 2: it sounds more epic, less restricting than 'The Fame'. When I listened to that debut album, I soon became quite sick of it because it made me feel claustrophobic and that the walls were slowly shutting in on me. Maybe I'm just a looney. But listening to 'The Fame Monster' gives me the impression that I'm being led out of my room onto some epic Wembley Stadium stage performance. Is that good? For me it is.


'Telephone' - Lady GaGa featuring Beyonce

xxxx

Finally, the Noughties: vampires galore

I've decided, because we're nearing the end of the first decade of the 2000s, that I should do something acknowledging that on this blog. So I came up with a feature where I'd do a post on something that defined our decade. Because if I think about it, I'm a real noughties kid. I'm turning the big 18 at the very end of the noughties, so looking back on these years will mean looking back on my youth. So, let's rejoice in that fact, and show some appreciation for some great ten years!

Today, I'm writing about something that you probably know is raging around the country - vampire mania. Yep, it's Twilight. But no, it's not Twilight, in that I'll be focusing on the soundtrack. The music featured in the film receives relatively little attention in the fandom, if you consider the amount of attention the actors get.

Just lolz. No wonder they're so ugly then.

I can wholeheartedly say that Twilight's OST is one of the albums that I most enjoy listening to. Note, Twilight's OST, not New Moon's OST – that, I haven't listened to yet. I'm half looking forward to listening to it, half doubting its worth, considering that they've collected a number of huge names and put them on an already million-selling movie's soundtrack. Is that another commercial trap I smell? Can't be. Still, won't judge a book by its cover. It'll probably turn out amazing and I'll end up being one of the people who fell for their trap.

I downloaded the whole album after Twilight came out, but for some reason I only kept a handful of songs: Paramore's, R-Pattz', Iron & Wine's, and the 'Clair de Lune'. They were my favourite after all. I have to say, I really liked R-Pattz' two songs, not because they're R-Pattz' (or maybe a little because of that), but because they're genuinely nice songs. I can sit and relax to them…if it weren't for his mumbling which sometimes turns into snarling. I think it's with his great acoustic guitar playing that he redeems himself.

'Never Think' - Robert Pattinson

How can you listen to that and NOT feel like you're in heaven?!

… -_- cringe alert.

I seem to have gone crazy with Twilight lately haven't I? That's cause I am. Face it, sorry little Twilight hater: if you haven't read it, you can't judge. You can't judge the Twilight fandom on the fangirls. They're just swooning over R-Pattz and Taylor Lautner. If you read it and THEN hate it, fine. Just don't judge a book by the film!

Errrrr... where's Taylor? Who the hell is this beefy bunch...

I'm actually not as obsessed as I was this time last year. This time last year I was at the Twilight premiere. Yep, the Twilight premiere. omgomgomgomg I saw R-Pattz....'s back. Who else did I see.. Alex Zane, Dev Patel, N-DUBZ (why they were invited i have no idea), Jasper (? I think), K-Stew, and I don't really remember who else.  And soon after that, I went to the 'Tales of Beedle the Bard' release party in Piccadilly Waterstone's. I'm just that sad! God, I'm such a nerd.

'Decode' is played the most out of the soundtrack, so I thought I'd give the other song some limelight. Haha, sorry, not 'the other song', I mean 'I Caught Myself', by Paramore.

So I just downloaded the New Moon soundtrack. It's sounding preeettty good. There's a piano piece played by Alexander Desplat – a French pianist, I'll have you know – and it's beautiful. He also happens to compose/play (?) the New Moon score. Here's the offical soundtrack tracklist - I've highlighted my fave bits.

New Moon OST

1. Death Cab for Cutie, 'Meet Me on the Equinox'
2. Band of Skulls, 'Friends'
3. Thom Yorke, 'Hering Damage'
4. Lykke Li, 'Possibility'
5. The Killers, 'A White Demon Love Song'
6. Anya Marina, 'Satellite Heart'
7. Muse, 'I Belong to You (New Moon Remix)'
8. Bon Iver and St. Vincent, 'Rosyln'
9. Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, 'Done All Wrong'
10. Hurricane Bells, 'Monsters'
11. Sea Wolf, 'The Violet Hour'
12. Ok Go, 'Shooting The Moon'
13. Grizzly Bear, 'Slow Life'
14. Editors, 'No Sound But The Wind'
15. Alexandre Desplat, 'New Moon (The Meadow)'

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'Meet me on the Equinox' - Death Cab for Cutie

'Hearing Damage' - Thom Yorke

'I Belong To You' (New Moon Remix) - Muse

'Shooting the Moon' - OK Go

'New Moon (The Meadow)' - Alexandre Desplat

'Possibility' - Lykke Li

PLEASE READ: Summit Entertainment, Thom Yorke, Muse, Lykke Li, Death Cab for Cutie, OK Go, Alexandre Desplat, Robert Pattinson, and (my beloved) Paramore: I DO NOT CLAIM OWNERSHIP TO ANY OF THE ABOVE SONGS. I'm not making them available for downloads, I'm not scheming behind your backs to try and bring you down and cheat your stinkingmoney out of you, i'm just promoting

That's a lot of tracks to load you with, but, if you haven't seen the movie, you can understand the mood of it through this soundtrack. What can make me really happy is when films or television shows have some really good soundtracks - and not just a load of good songs plonked together, but songs that fit the meaning of the show/film, and I think that the Twilight music crew have done that amazingly. I can picture each song being played in  specific scenes (that I imagine from having read the book). Pity the acting isn't up to the same level.

I wonder whether Twilight will be remembered in fifty years' time, or whether it'll be a one hit wonder. Or four-hit wonder. OK, not particularly articulate today: what I mean is, whether it's just a phase. Just a phase? Yeahhh, how can something that's adored by teenagers be concretised as a classic?

Erm, the Beatles? Elvis Presley? A load of other things which I could name but can't because my brain is not functioning?

Point made.

xxxx