liar liar pants on fire

Oh, dishonesty. So useful, so helpful, so pleasing an accomplice. There is nothing like dishonesty to get you out of trouble, to avoid their judgement, to get into their good books. But there is also nothing like dishonesty to get you into trouble, to suffer their worst judgment, and to get out of their good books. There are some whose lies I can't bear. Excuses for not coming out to cotch, stories to make themselves seem like the goody – why do I smile and say 'that's OK'? Sometimes because I'm a wuss, sometimes because I know it doesn't do any good to stir up beef. But how much frustration it stirs up in my mind to hear their words, to know that they're lying, and to look them in the eye (or in some cases, hear them on the phone) and think 'how the fuck can I trust them again?'

Half-hearted truth and insincerity are almost as bad. Why would you say something if you didn't mean it? To avoid hurting their feelings? Yeah, I've done it before. To not seem like a bitch? OK. Because you don't have the guts to spit out the truth, and then go behind their back and rant about for two hours? Two-faced bitch.

Of course, the world's not black and white. I'm not an honest person, if honesty requires 100% commitment. Some things actually don't need to be divulged. They might be insignificant, but divulging them would add nothing to the world. So what's the boundary that makes a white lie a lie? The intention? Are good intentions enough to make a lie white? Well, saying that you're going out with friends to a restaurant when you're actually going to a restaurant and THEN to a club is a white lie, isn't it? The intention there is to keep yourself from trouble. Saying that you didn't get off with that boy when you actually did – that's not a white lie. The intention there is triple-edged: to save your relationship, to keep yourself from trouble, and to protect their feelings, so the intention is mostly to look after others' feelings. Therefore, good intentions do not make for a white lie.

So is it the consequences? If your parents found out you were actually clubbing, then the worst that happens is you get grounded (although that IS quite a big deal for us socialites ; P), yet if you were found to have snogged another boy, the consequences would be far further-reaching: a relationship split, i.e. DRAMA. You get called a ho? Your boyfriend, now you've broken up, gets off with multiple girls and you end up crying in your pillow. And possibly deciding to find solace in more physical activites?

Right, I watch too much daytime TV. I don't think it's the consequences.

Hey, covering up ADULTERY (muaha, I sound like such a puritan) does not invite sympathy either. So maybe it's what you're covering up that decides what kind of lie you're telling. In the first case, you're covering up going out -

OK I just realised, the only reason I consider the first case to be a white lie is because I think that lying to parents is alright. Erm, discriminative much? Haha, that's so telling of my own morality. And of my respect for my elders. Oh sod the elders. If they want my respect, they'll have to earn it. Why is an older person more respectable?! That's another debate altogether, one which I might discuss laterzzzzz.

So, lying to your parents seems to be alright, because we're all used to it. Well it's their fault they're so controlling. WE WANT FREEDOM. But they don't give us freedom, and if we tell them, then they'll keep an ever tighter hold on us. I certainly don't lie to my parents: I tell them the vital details, but I don't tell them every single thing I do.

Anyway, let's stop analysing mine and my parents' glorious relationship. I do think it's WHAT you're covering up that makes the difference. Say if you left out the fact that you have a secret shrine to McFly (this is wholly unrepresentative of my own life. Hum.) that's a white lie, isn't it? But covering up ADULTERY isn't a white lie.

Maybe I've got it all wrong. After all, I'm a good girl, and don't lie at all, do I?

The point is, the times that I've lost a friendship due to honesty are few and far between, but they're there. And they're not embedded in the past. They're floating around, slowly approaching. Gah, what pisses me off isn't what you're lying about – it's simply that you're lying! You watch out, bitch; don't lie to me or you'll lose my trust.

xxxx