Suffering for Him

I have a quite a bit I need to blog about.



Yesterday morning, I dropped my sister off at church, and was on my way out, when my mum ran out of church, beckoning me to come back 'because it's the first service of the year' and blahblahblah. So I followed.

During the session, I was half-expecting to be converted back to Christianity, half not being able to focus and therefore getting bored, half thinking about the revision I could have been doing. The guy doing the sermon was the assistant vicar, whom I LOVE. He's young, can speak in public, is passionate about what he's saying, and doesn't try to convert us. But, whereas he usually has loads of anecdotes, this sermon had more studying of Bible passages in it. Today's sermon was called something along the lines of 'Relying on God', talking about Paul and how he suffered for God. Then at one point, the ass't vicar said to us 'would you suffer for God?' This got me thinking: I know that I'm going to suffer, but I don't know whether I'd be prepared to suffer for God.

My history with God isn't too straightforward, nor is it something that I can remember very well, mainly because of the long church-going hiatus I have had up till now. Before going to church that day, I'd say I vaguely believed, but disliked the idea of religion. Conflicts between religion, religion becoming an institution, and all that. I'm not the type to preach my religion either. So what I understood by 'Are you going to suffer for God?' was 'are you going to preach about him, regardless of what shit you get in return?', and my answer was, bluntly put, no.

As soon as I watched this video, I cried. For two reasons. Realising that life (and God) might actually throw shit at you like having a dead daughter. But most importantly, that, with God, it doesn't hurt as much. I know many people will read this and think that I've been converted and that I'm believing a load of brainwashing bullshit. Well.. I have nothing to say to you, really. I'm not converted - I'm beginning to be. And I recognise that believing in God could just be a security blanket, a way of making it better. That doesn't really bother me though. I don't think God, if He exists, really gives a shit about that (as long as you believe in him, hah), and if it gets you through life, then isn't that enough? Everybody has a force within them, and some choose to think of it as God, that's all. Call it naive? I call it faith.

...I can't believe I just wrote a whole post about God and religion.

xxxx

ps I'm really interested in what you guys think, so drop me a comment through the link below.
pps the guy speaking in the video is called John Piper. Check out his website if you're interested.