J's.

[written on Monday 2 Nov]

I cannot believe my school network has blocked BLOGGER! What IS that?! So I'm now using my email account to MAIL this post to my blog.

Anyway, out of outrage at whoever decided that Blogger poses a threat of DISTRACTION to our school day, I decided to procrastinate. Actually, that isn't too true, I went on Blogger an hour after I started procrastinating. So erm, yeah, Blogger really doesn't distract. I was distracted already.

Came across the most awesome website that has oceans of free album downloads. How are they still alive?! How has the Internet not killed them for the illegal-ness of their activity? HOW?! (Bleurgh, just realised I've written three words in CAPS in this post alone - hmm, I must be stressed.) So, yeah, the government is shit at finding mp3 sharks. I think I just made that term up. I seem to be feeling a little erratic today. Must be a weirdo, I mean, who would be erratic, after 4 hours of sleep?! Ridic.

Hallowe'en this year? Slightly different to how I expected it to be. Plan A - go to a friend's birthday do in Camden, then go to another's halloween one. Actual plan - go to a friend's birthday do in Camden, only to find..well, not what we wanted. We wanted a place to get "titfaced" (courtesy of JJT), but we found none. We didn't want to find a druggie who stalked us for about 10 minutes, and we did. *sigh*. Good times though!

Back to the topic- because we found nowhere, they decided to go back to my friend's house. I went with them, then realised it would take me way too long to get to the halloween one. Oops.

Had a great night at their house - I don't want this whole post to turn into a private joke, so let me just say: CM is the BEST drunk to be drunk with, EVER. Oh and the 2am search for ciggies - classic; running down the road for no apparent reason, JJT ringing doorbells asking for smokes, coming across some drugged up mandemz (actually, he had green circles around his eyes, and I 've realised: I'VE GOT GREEN CIRCLES AROUND MY EYES. Someone's drugging me.), getting to a closed "open 24/7" Tesco... I swear, that only happens when I'm out with them.

My parents got well pissed..off. Because I couldn't take the train back (missed the last one. and various other reasons.) I had to call my mum up. Yep, my mum. Ok lol, she's not actually that scary. But she makes me feel so bad AND she makes me feel like I've committed some kind of heinous crime! It doesn't last long, but when it's there, it kinda sucks. Then the next day, back at home, my dad came into my room (which he rarely ever does), and asked what had happened last night (he rarely ever asks about my nights out either), so er, yeah, FREAKOUTDAD alert. I think he thinks I'm sleeping around..or something. Cause he asked where I slept, and I said 'my friend's', and he asked 'Who?' (like, in that I-think-you're-about-to-get-into-some-shizzle-if-you-don't-give-me-the-right-answer kind of voice), so I said 'J', which is their name. "Oh." Problem solved. But, lol, he thinks I'm fucking around. I'm probably a much better girl than he suspects.

Something I took away from that night though: appreciate what you have. I discovered some things I really could not have guessed beforehand, and I'm understating it to say that it was upsetting. They say that you don't realise what you have until you've lost it. Well I've had a precursive taste of that, learning what my friends had in their lives. I have no idea in the world what the fuck can I do to help them, and all I want them to know is that I'm here for them, and I'm not the only one. I'm really not the only one who's here for you.

xxxx

p.s. sorry if I don't - make - much - sense today...