sad times

Surprisingly, I feel like I'm actually missing out on this fat New Moon hype. I thought I'd put my Twilight ways behind me, that I could not see New Moon this weekend because it's the wasteman thing to do, and that I could nevertheless survive. Aparently not. Edward is my all. Without him I cannot breathe. I curled up in a ball on a forest floor covered in brown autumn leaves today. I thought I saw him. I realized it was his ghost. I'm Isabella Swan, abandoned by the one man I loved.

...Are you cringing inside, cause I defs am. I didn't mean for that to turn out how it did, but as I started writing it I got steered in that direction and got into it. it's just too much fun to make fun of Bella Swan. She needs to sort herself out.

Anyway, I wasn't joking when I said that I'm missing out. The beautiful men are worth the cringe. it does seem a bit like it's those two men are a form of commercial hypnosis - that's all that's ensnaring the nation into the cinemas. Because Kristen Stew can only look as if she's about to kill Edward and not the other way around, Rob Pattz looks like he's constipated half the time, and...who else is in the film (apart from Taylor)? nobody cares about the others, apart from Emmett and Jasper who are B-U-F-F.

And now, onto Taylor. Literally. He is actually beautiful. That smile, that skin，those muscles, those teeth- ok this is getting weird now isn't it. Can't help it if he's a buff werewolf, jeez. Auch, get off that screen and over here now.

Notice how I just spent ten minutes ranting about a film I haven't even seen. try imagine how I'm gonna be after I actually see it (if I ever get round to it)

God save Britain. or the world. or the universe (after all, them vamps and werewolves may well have cult followings on Mars, they're that beautiful).
xxxx