Let me tell you a story...

An INCEPTION review in gifs-



On Tuesday evening, I went to the cinema with some friends. I hadn't been to the cinema since Avatar in February so I was partying like at the prospect.



Can you guess what film we were going to watch? Yep the one starring



No, wait, before you start worrying: there are no Inception spoilers in this post. Alright, you fools that have not yet watched Inception, you are safe, you may read this wonderful review and rejoice

So we were sitting in the screening, waiting for Inception to begin, watching the trailers. They were all Action film trailers, so I was like





Then a new trailer began, starting with a shot of the countryside, and I was still like





However I soon realised that this trailer was for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows so I was like





Anyway. So Inception began, and we saw LeoDiCap, but we were upset



over the fact that he had lost his youthful good looks.

The film really confused us in the beginning like

But we slowly began to follow what Nolan was telling us. And - thankfully - some hotties like

and

came onto the screen, so we were basically permanently perving at the screen

Oh sorry, let's get back to reviewing Inception. Well there was acting that made me Jear- oh sorry I mean tear up

There were some badass scenes with badass fighting

and a plot, sub-plots, and concept that really deserved some

There were moments when I had massive dawning realisations

and thought I'd gotten the hang of the film..

but then the film was like

'You ain't got nothin sista'....

There were a couple of predictable parts so I was like

and the ending of the film left me like

but overall, 'Inception' made me think

so I say 'Good job Nolan'

But what I'd really like to do is

hug Nolan to thank him for entertaining me and giving me things to scratch my brain about and blessing us with such a great, emotional, deep, clever film.

(Relevant gif)

Phwoar, that was harder than I expected. But in all seriousness, 'Inception' is a mindblowing film that deserves at least one cinema viewing from everybody. Resist at your own peril. It's like the second 'Dark Knight' though, everybody's banging on about it, soon there will be a tide of people calling it overrated. But 'Inception' is incredible. Go. Now.

Finally, the Noughties: vampires galore

I've decided, because we're nearing the end of the first decade of the 2000s, that I should do something acknowledging that on this blog. So I came up with a feature where I'd do a post on something that defined our decade. Because if I think about it, I'm a real noughties kid. I'm turning the big 18 at the very end of the noughties, so looking back on these years will mean looking back on my youth. So, let's rejoice in that fact, and show some appreciation for some great ten years!

Today, I'm writing about something that you probably know is raging around the country - vampire mania. Yep, it's Twilight. But no, it's not Twilight, in that I'll be focusing on the soundtrack. The music featured in the film receives relatively little attention in the fandom, if you consider the amount of attention the actors get.

Just lolz. No wonder they're so ugly then.

I can wholeheartedly say that Twilight's OST is one of the albums that I most enjoy listening to. Note, Twilight's OST, not New Moon's OST – that, I haven't listened to yet. I'm half looking forward to listening to it, half doubting its worth, considering that they've collected a number of huge names and put them on an already million-selling movie's soundtrack. Is that another commercial trap I smell? Can't be. Still, won't judge a book by its cover. It'll probably turn out amazing and I'll end up being one of the people who fell for their trap.

I downloaded the whole album after Twilight came out, but for some reason I only kept a handful of songs: Paramore's, R-Pattz', Iron & Wine's, and the 'Clair de Lune'. They were my favourite after all. I have to say, I really liked R-Pattz' two songs, not because they're R-Pattz' (or maybe a little because of that), but because they're genuinely nice songs. I can sit and relax to them…if it weren't for his mumbling which sometimes turns into snarling. I think it's with his great acoustic guitar playing that he redeems himself.

'Never Think' - Robert Pattinson

How can you listen to that and NOT feel like you're in heaven?!

… -_- cringe alert.

I seem to have gone crazy with Twilight lately haven't I? That's cause I am. Face it, sorry little Twilight hater: if you haven't read it, you can't judge. You can't judge the Twilight fandom on the fangirls. They're just swooning over R-Pattz and Taylor Lautner. If you read it and THEN hate it, fine. Just don't judge a book by the film!

Errrrr... where's Taylor? Who the hell is this beefy bunch...

I'm actually not as obsessed as I was this time last year. This time last year I was at the Twilight premiere. Yep, the Twilight premiere. omgomgomgomg I saw R-Pattz....'s back. Who else did I see.. Alex Zane, Dev Patel, N-DUBZ (why they were invited i have no idea), Jasper (? I think), K-Stew, and I don't really remember who else.  And soon after that, I went to the 'Tales of Beedle the Bard' release party in Piccadilly Waterstone's. I'm just that sad! God, I'm such a nerd.

'Decode' is played the most out of the soundtrack, so I thought I'd give the other song some limelight. Haha, sorry, not 'the other song', I mean 'I Caught Myself', by Paramore.

So I just downloaded the New Moon soundtrack. It's sounding preeettty good. There's a piano piece played by Alexander Desplat – a French pianist, I'll have you know – and it's beautiful. He also happens to compose/play (?) the New Moon score. Here's the offical soundtrack tracklist - I've highlighted my fave bits.

New Moon OST

1. Death Cab for Cutie, 'Meet Me on the Equinox'
2. Band of Skulls, 'Friends'
3. Thom Yorke, 'Hering Damage'
4. Lykke Li, 'Possibility'
5. The Killers, 'A White Demon Love Song'
6. Anya Marina, 'Satellite Heart'
7. Muse, 'I Belong to You (New Moon Remix)'
8. Bon Iver and St. Vincent, 'Rosyln'
9. Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, 'Done All Wrong'
10. Hurricane Bells, 'Monsters'
11. Sea Wolf, 'The Violet Hour'
12. Ok Go, 'Shooting The Moon'
13. Grizzly Bear, 'Slow Life'
14. Editors, 'No Sound But The Wind'
15. Alexandre Desplat, 'New Moon (The Meadow)'

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'Meet me on the Equinox' - Death Cab for Cutie

'Hearing Damage' - Thom Yorke

'I Belong To You' (New Moon Remix) - Muse

'Shooting the Moon' - OK Go

'New Moon (The Meadow)' - Alexandre Desplat

'Possibility' - Lykke Li

PLEASE READ: Summit Entertainment, Thom Yorke, Muse, Lykke Li, Death Cab for Cutie, OK Go, Alexandre Desplat, Robert Pattinson, and (my beloved) Paramore: I DO NOT CLAIM OWNERSHIP TO ANY OF THE ABOVE SONGS. I'm not making them available for downloads, I'm not scheming behind your backs to try and bring you down and cheat your stinkingmoney out of you, i'm just promoting

That's a lot of tracks to load you with, but, if you haven't seen the movie, you can understand the mood of it through this soundtrack. What can make me really happy is when films or television shows have some really good soundtracks - and not just a load of good songs plonked together, but songs that fit the meaning of the show/film, and I think that the Twilight music crew have done that amazingly. I can picture each song being played in  specific scenes (that I imagine from having read the book). Pity the acting isn't up to the same level.

I wonder whether Twilight will be remembered in fifty years' time, or whether it'll be a one hit wonder. Or four-hit wonder. OK, not particularly articulate today: what I mean is, whether it's just a phase. Just a phase? Yeahhh, how can something that's adored by teenagers be concretised as a classic?

Erm, the Beatles? Elvis Presley? A load of other things which I could name but can't because my brain is not functioning?

Point made.

xxxx

sad times

Surprisingly, I feel like I'm actually missing out on this fat New Moon hype. I thought I'd put my Twilight ways behind me, that I could not see New Moon this weekend because it's the wasteman thing to do, and that I could nevertheless survive. Aparently not. Edward is my all. Without him I cannot breathe. I curled up in a ball on a forest floor covered in brown autumn leaves today. I thought I saw him. I realized it was his ghost. I'm Isabella Swan, abandoned by the one man I loved.

...Are you cringing inside, cause I defs am. I didn't mean for that to turn out how it did, but as I started writing it I got steered in that direction and got into it. it's just too much fun to make fun of Bella Swan. She needs to sort herself out.

Anyway, I wasn't joking when I said that I'm missing out. The beautiful men are worth the cringe. it does seem a bit like it's those two men are a form of commercial hypnosis - that's all that's ensnaring the nation into the cinemas. Because Kristen Stew can only look as if she's about to kill Edward and not the other way around, Rob Pattz looks like he's constipated half the time, and...who else is in the film (apart from Taylor)? nobody cares about the others, apart from Emmett and Jasper who are B-U-F-F.

And now, onto Taylor. Literally. He is actually beautiful. That smile, that skin，those muscles, those teeth- ok this is getting weird now isn't it. Can't help it if he's a buff werewolf, jeez. Auch, get off that screen and over here now.

Notice how I just spent ten minutes ranting about a film I haven't even seen. try imagine how I'm gonna be after I actually see it (if I ever get round to it)

God save Britain. or the world. or the universe (after all, them vamps and werewolves may well have cult followings on Mars, they're that beautiful).
xxxx

ashton kutcher

Ain't he yummy.

'Just Married' was on Film4 last night, and I, being the mega-procrastinator that I am, used up more of the time I could have been using for work by watching this rom-com. Only for Ashton Kutcher. Only for his hair, his cheekbones, his eyes, his..body.



I'll stop perving.

Anywho, last night I mega-procrastinated some more by checking out all the social internet accounts I own. So far, I count 15. Myspace, Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, this ting, Last.fm, Purevolume, The Hype Machine, Soundcloud, iLike, YouTube, Photobucket, Flickr, weheartit, Stumbleupon. Yeah I only frequently use about three out of those 15. Go me!

But I tell you this my friend- I am intent on becoming a neek. No, not a nerd-geek, a net geek. I actually used to be a total Myspace kid, using HTML and all that to make my page look all preddy. 24/7. I think that was what got me 13 GCSEs.

Since two years ago though, I've moved onto Facebook, and recently onto Twitter... the lazy sites. Yeah, I said it, THEY'RE LAZY. They do everything for you! Even though you spend your whole life working on.. er, doing... what are you doing? Oh yeah, telling the world that you're having a Starbucks coffee. Woohoo, World, did you hear that? This kid's having a Starbucks coffee! Yeah, just wasted a whole 60 seconds of my life, used up a hundred up of my brain cells, and killed a few more of my eye cells in the process, just reading this bloody status about a life-changing experiences.

Alright, all the statuses this week have been about the new Facebook layout. Everytime a new layout comes out, a gazillion new groups pop up, including at least one (each time) called exactly this: 'I HATE THE NEW FACEBOOK'. Idea: if you spent less time on Facebook, you can make the world a better place. How? Because then maybe Facebook would be less used, and Facebook would feel less need to keep its popularity by making itself prettier, and then you wouldn't get angry because Facebook kept its look the same old look, and then you wouldn't need to make Facebook sicker by creating hate groups. That, or you'd get an actual social life, and then make the real world a better place. Now that's innovative.

Not that I can really talk, I spend my whole life procrastinating. Keeping this blog up, watching music channels, writing these blogs, hitting the books, making that little widget on my blog look that little bit nicer. Isn't my blog lucky.

So yeah, watch this space to keep track of how I'm making progress neek-wise!

xxxx

The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus

So yesterday night I saw Heath Ledger's last film, just for the sake of seeing Heath Ledger in his last role. I have to say my opinion of it was marred by the Independent's review of it, which gave it a meagre one star, meaning that I went into that cinema already predisposed to see it as a bad-quality film. People, pre-film review reading: not good.

To my surprise, the film was really enjoyable! Perhaps because of my friend Shannon sitting next to me giggling throughout, but enjoyable all the same. I was really impressed by the way they handled the switches from Ledger to the three other actors. I had expected Ledger --> Replacement Actor one --> replacement actor two --> replacement actor three, but instead they had Ledger, then had him turn into his replacement actors when Ledger's characters enters the imaginarium. Which makes me wonder, did they purposefully film the scenes outside of the imaginarium BEFORE they filmed the ones in there?

I have to say Heath Ledger is not at his best in this role. He still acts well, it's just not a role I will remember him for (that title goes to his rendition of The Joker). Johnny Depp is, as always, endearingly witty in his performance, Jude Law is a bit too wide-eyed and over-exaggerating, and Colin Farrell is just mleh. Lily Cole was..interesting. Her boobs got airbrushed, big time. I won't criticise her because anything I say cannot be taken seriously due to the fact that I am clearly jealous of her (starring with Ledger, a UG at cambridge, a model being some of the obvious reasons).

The plot was.. I want to say 'cute'. It was slightly convoluted, with several script lines and events confusing me. However the message that the imagination and stories are a crucial part of human life and of society is something I really agree with.

The Independent review I read gave it 1 star, essentially because (I quote loosely) Terry Gilliam has a great imagination; it's just a shame that what he imagines is really, really boring. I agree, it was not the tightest plot with a structure that is easily followable. But I imagine that they had to rush the production considerably after the frantic chaos that must have been caused by Ledger's death (RIP), which may go some way to explaining some of the gaps. All in all, a commendable effort from Gilliam, even if an altogether not so successful one.