music

I'd like to start this post by thanking you guys for your support. I started this blog with no expectations (aside from expecting that nobody would read it), so to have anybody even going onto my page is very encouraging. I thank you even more for the lovely comments you've made about my blog, my layout, and especially those about my writing because that has previously always been an area where I've been unsure of myself. So thank you; now I only hope I can return the favour by continuing to give you light, yet – most importantly – interesting and entertaining reading (and laughing, hopefully).

Just a quick request, if you leave comments – especially in the shout box on the far right – please leave your name, or at least a screen name, otherwise it's just a long list of Guest Guest Guest Guest, and it looks like one person has become socially withdrawn and decided to spend their life on my blog. And, also you can't tell what's said by who. So yes, at least a screen name!

Music-wise: Thursday this week I heard You Me At Six's upcoming new single, 'The Consequence'. If you missed it (bad, bad You Me at Six fan), catch it on the Radio 1 Nick Grimshaw page (like I did). Or just listen to it on the right.

I like it! After hearing 'Finders Keepers' and 'Kiss and Tell', I liked them somewhat, but this is truly a move away from that kind of sound and back to their old sound (angry rawr angry rawr angry rawr. I'm SO weird.) No joke, I actually think my inclination towards angry music is really telling about my character... But back to the point, you can tell they have feeling in this song, that they've put themselves (maybe not their heart) into it. Josh Franceschi said that he had to rewrite the lyrics of most of their songs from the forthcoming album after their tour in America because he'd just come out of a long-term relationship – does that mean I stand a chance now? - so the sincerity that this shows (changing your lyrics to reflect your emotions) tells me that they are putting themselves into this song. Hopefully that will also be the case for the new album (out in Jan 2010, folks, GO GET IT). You Me At Six, welcome back.

A song that seriously makes me want to cry because of its pointlessness is Lily Allen's 'Who'd Have Known'. Yeah, I know, I loved her 'Guess What Batman (Fuck you very much)', but the former just makes me think, 'what is wrong with her?!' How could she possibly have thought that this song was good enough to release as a single? How could she possibly have thought that it was good enough to put on an ALBUM?! Things wrong with it: the chorus sounds too much like Take That's 'Shine' (perhaps that's intentional, but it doesn't work in any way!) it's slow in a lo-o-o-ong, drawn-out way, and it's lifeless. I'm not even asking for heart, or emotion, or soul, just something that makes me think it's sung by a living thing. HELP ME NOW.

Another song that's making me despair atm (but not as much) is Ke$ha's 'Tik Tok'. I mean, when I first heard it, I thought it was some weird sort of MileyCyrus-Cascada-EsmeeDenters hybrid. So – wrong. It's a tune I can't get out of my head and that's good to sing, but lyrically and musically it's crazy. The verses she sings are – what the hell are they?! It's just her talking, really... I can't even describe it. Speechlessness, but in a bad way. There's no energy in the song, it's nanananana..nanananana... I don't need this kind of music! (Oh, there goes the music snob.) Too many artists who don't know what they're doing. It's not even fun music. I can handle bad music that's jokes, but bad music that is just bad and fills a space... no.

(OMDZ what?! When I saw the name Ke$ha I thought she'd have been black. Woops.)

Last word, well done to my friend NO (I'm not just saying NO angrily, however weird I may be) for her success in the Bank of England competition!

xxxx

LS' at Babble

[written on Sunday 15 November 2009]

Hi, I think this is the first post that I'm writing as I'm working through the night. Yup, Sunday night and I've just been to a friend's 18^th. Worth it? Definitely. Now I can sit down and focus, without the need for a distraction. Except... I've just found one. You.

I like to write, that's all! One kind of writing I'm slightly anxious about is for my job as my school's Classics Magazine Editor. I don't know what the hell I'm gonna write about (that could be interesting AND suitable). It does not help that the head of the Classics department specially mentioned me and my co-editor in his speech at the Classics Symposium, thanking us "in advance" for the Magazine. No pressure!

I came back from my friend's, only to find my mum looking at me slightly ominously.

"You've got that interview practice tomorrow and you still went out."

[please note, there's no anger ruminating inside of her, she's just talking normally.]

Later, she said to me "I just don't believe you went to a birthday"

"What? Then where did I go?"

"Yeah, tell me where did you go?"

"Euch..."

Funny thing: until she [even later] asked me if we'd "been dancing", I was sure that her idea of birthdays was sitting round a table, having a tea party. Except, not really: my mum's actually quite in touch with the outer universe of teenagers.

On the other hand, my dad had a slightly more serious look about him. "In the future, it would be better if you didn't go out on Sundays because the next day you have school" (though in Chinese it's a lot more assertive in such a way that they don't really mean "it would be better for you" in a nice way. They mean "it would be better for you otherwise i'm gon kick yo ass in")

xxxx

irata

The amount of anger I'm feeling is, admittedly, quite unreasonable; but then, isn't that what anger is? Unreasonable? And I'm only unreasonably angry because people are unreasonably ANAL.

Breathe.

Just a teacher. From my school.

Moving on; following on from yesterday's mortification (which I have totally gotten over. Totally.) people are still mocking me. Totally uncool, guys!

Haha, I really don't mind, but it just makes me really self-conscious thinking back to it..

So I was talking to a friend about it, and he joked that I should buy a book all about innuendos to educate my innocent mind. And he allegedly searched it on google (but obviously he was just looking up at his bookshelf) and gave me a list of innuendo books. One of them being Something I Said?: Innuendo And Out The Other. So yeah, you guys can now read the book in the comfort of your own home.

Thanks for lightening me up AB!

Finally, hellogoodbye are officially back, with the song 'When We First Met'. They have an EP (free on their myspace) with the same name. And here's the video for you guys:

When We First Met

hellogoodbye | MySpace Video

I have to say, I'm not mega-impressed... It doesn't leave me with anything, nor is it particularly peculiar. But ah well, it's hellogoodbye, and I love them.

xxxx

J's.

[written on Monday 2 Nov]

I cannot believe my school network has blocked BLOGGER! What IS that?! So I'm now using my email account to MAIL this post to my blog.

Anyway, out of outrage at whoever decided that Blogger poses a threat of DISTRACTION to our school day, I decided to procrastinate. Actually, that isn't too true, I went on Blogger an hour after I started procrastinating. So erm, yeah, Blogger really doesn't distract. I was distracted already.

Came across the most awesome website that has oceans of free album downloads. How are they still alive?! How has the Internet not killed them for the illegal-ness of their activity? HOW?! (Bleurgh, just realised I've written three words in CAPS in this post alone - hmm, I must be stressed.) So, yeah, the government is shit at finding mp3 sharks. I think I just made that term up. I seem to be feeling a little erratic today. Must be a weirdo, I mean, who would be erratic, after 4 hours of sleep?! Ridic.

Hallowe'en this year? Slightly different to how I expected it to be. Plan A - go to a friend's birthday do in Camden, then go to another's halloween one. Actual plan - go to a friend's birthday do in Camden, only to find..well, not what we wanted. We wanted a place to get "titfaced" (courtesy of JJT), but we found none. We didn't want to find a druggie who stalked us for about 10 minutes, and we did. *sigh*. Good times though!

Back to the topic- because we found nowhere, they decided to go back to my friend's house. I went with them, then realised it would take me way too long to get to the halloween one. Oops.

Had a great night at their house - I don't want this whole post to turn into a private joke, so let me just say: CM is the BEST drunk to be drunk with, EVER. Oh and the 2am search for ciggies - classic; running down the road for no apparent reason, JJT ringing doorbells asking for smokes, coming across some drugged up mandemz (actually, he had green circles around his eyes, and I 've realised: I'VE GOT GREEN CIRCLES AROUND MY EYES. Someone's drugging me.), getting to a closed "open 24/7" Tesco... I swear, that only happens when I'm out with them.

My parents got well pissed..off. Because I couldn't take the train back (missed the last one. and various other reasons.) I had to call my mum up. Yep, my mum. Ok lol, she's not actually that scary. But she makes me feel so bad AND she makes me feel like I've committed some kind of heinous crime! It doesn't last long, but when it's there, it kinda sucks. Then the next day, back at home, my dad came into my room (which he rarely ever does), and asked what had happened last night (he rarely ever asks about my nights out either), so er, yeah, FREAKOUTDAD alert. I think he thinks I'm sleeping around..or something. Cause he asked where I slept, and I said 'my friend's', and he asked 'Who?' (like, in that I-think-you're-about-to-get-into-some-shizzle-if-you-don't-give-me-the-right-answer kind of voice), so I said 'J', which is their name. "Oh." Problem solved. But, lol, he thinks I'm fucking around. I'm probably a much better girl than he suspects.

Something I took away from that night though: appreciate what you have. I discovered some things I really could not have guessed beforehand, and I'm understating it to say that it was upsetting. They say that you don't realise what you have until you've lost it. Well I've had a precursive taste of that, learning what my friends had in their lives. I have no idea in the world what the fuck can I do to help them, and all I want them to know is that I'm here for them, and I'm not the only one. I'm really not the only one who's here for you.

xxxx

p.s. sorry if I don't - make - much - sense today...

have you ever

met someone who you see as a friend. speaks to you as a friend. does friendly things.

but then the only thing they make you feel is shit. like you've got loads of character flaws, your ways are wrong, you do bad things, even that you're a bad person. of course they'll say it in a way that'll make you yourself start to believe it. I believe it now.

of course, since meeting them, I have developed so much. it's been hard, but great hard (in the end). I would never choose to not have had them in my life. thank god.

what do you do? they're your friend but theyre your foe. they can have such reactions. they don't make you feel good. if they do, it happens about 5% of the time spent around them. what the fuck.

xxxx