tupac showed me the way...

Revision for the mocks is officially failing. I am more interested in preparing for my ToK presentation (which is AFTER the mocks) than revising. You can't blame me – I'm meant to be studying 'God of Small Things' by Arundhati Roy, and I lie not: its appalling-ness is bringing me to tears. It's not a bad plot at all, but she writes. Like this. Like A Child, Who Doesn't Understand – Punctuation.

Like this.

Yeah. I. Have. Two. Words. In. My. Mind. When. I'm. Reading. It.

“Help”. “Me”.

You know, short sentences, new paragraphs every five seconds, a gazillion words from the thesaurus.. It’s killing me softly.

Let’s get away from the topic of that book.

I don’t know about you guys, but today, instead of revising Maths and shit, I learnt about Tupac. Or 2pac. Gah I’ll just go with Tupac, it looks nicer. Anyway, I’m sure most of you know his story; if not, check out his Wikipedia, it’s quite comprehensive. I'm aware that Wikipedia isn't always trustworthy, so I am gonna research it some more, but the basics are there. Probably. What brought tears to my eyes was reading that his ashes were mixed with marijuana and smoked by Gallowz. It may have been total bullshit, but it moved me all the same.

Why Tupac?

Last summer, my friend and I did the obligatory presentation for the Theory of Knowledge course, but unfortunately it wasn’t focused enough on a real-life situation. So we now have to redo it. In search of a new topic, I’ve been looking through newspapers and noting down anything that’s caught my eye. The recurring theme has been ‘control’, i.e. the lengths to which governments would go, with the justification that they’re trying to run their countries. I also noted down ‘celebrity culture’, in response to the Celebrity Big Brother items.

However, what really focused my choice of topic was… hearing ‘Uprising’ by Muse on the radio. (I told you music inspires me.) This kick-started a long chain of reaction of research. I found myself reading comments on song lyric websites, on the Industry Exposed website, listening back to various songs... let's jus say that some conspiracy theories on various comments I read led me to research Tupac. and this is has shown me the light, for my tok presentation. I won't say any more.

Anyway, there is more to my discovery of Tupac than just ‘it helped me find a ToK presentation topic’. With the arrival of the Cambridge offers, the idea of Oxbridge and university and my future in general has just come back to haunt me and make me panic slightly. This is why reading about Tupac had a profound, even overwhelming, impact on me. The tragedy of his death (and life), and the fact that people aren’t waking up to the messed-up state of our music industry (which his death is blatant proof of) – when I saw both of these, needless to say Oxbridge seemed trivial and worthless. The music industry is so lost in its own shit it kills me.

I hate calling it an ‘industry’, makes it seem so meaningless, manufactured. That’s what it is now though, isn’t it? What’s music about now? The number of records you sell, the number of no.1s you have, the amount of praise you get from Simon Cowell, the number of sold-out gigs you have, how many of your fans want to sleep with you, being able to get your own private jets, the flashingflashingflashing lights you get everywhere you go, how many magazine covers you do, how many TV/billboard adverts you manage to score… Gah I wanna cry.

I won’t though, because I’ve never felt so inspired. My dream of entering the music industry is a recent one, but one which, out of all my career aspirations, I have felt least unconfident about, because I actually feel something for it, I actually care about it. Reading Tupac’s story woke me up, to the fact that Oxbridge isn’t necessary for me to make something of my life or make a difference. The one who makes the biggest difference to my own future is… (surprise surprise) me.

xxxx

p.s. God my posts are depressing now aren't they?! No more 'I got CRUNKKKKK' or 'woohoo let's celebrate cause I'm eighteeeeeeeeen or it's CHRISTMASSSSSS or it's the TENSIES (yeah, someone texted me on NYD, saying 'Happy New Year, welcome to the Tensies!'. How ugly.) Well, they’ll probably lighten up after my mocks. Or maybe they won’t, cause I’ll have done so phenomenally terribly in them that I might get…outlawed, or something. Woop!

p.p.s If you disagree with me about anything here, especially the state of the music industry, you’re welcome to comment and SHOUT AT ME.

a proper blog

OK, let's get serious. Here's your song for the day:



'Without Me' - Eminem

'Now this looks like a job for me, so everybody- just follow me, cause we need a little..controversy, cause it feels so empty without me'. Freakin amazing chorus. Oh and also 'I'm the worst thing since Elvis to do black music so selfishly and use it to get myself wealthy'. Well at least he's honest about himself.

I only rediscovered this song sometime a month ago when I downloaded all of his albums. He is a fookin legend, that guy. I'd been looking for this song for ages and when it randomly came on my shuffle I nearly collapsed. Well, no, I didn't, I was just really happy.

I know I'm not alone in thinking that he's not the rapper he used to be. It really is the mainstream-ness that's ruined him. Starting out in a clearly defined 'rap' pigeonhole meant that he could do his thing, swear all he wants, have that raw 'ghetto' (ok that is not something I can pull off) energy. He's been blown up now though, and the wants of the people and the majority have fed into his music. You see, now, the snares of mainstream culture? ALL AGAINST MAINSTREAM MUSIC.

No? Suit yourself.

You mustn't get the wrong idea, I'm not being snobbish and looking down my nose at all mainstream stuff (...maybe a little) – no, I'm only condemning the mainstreamness that makes initially perfectly alright (and perhaps even amazing) things into overplayed, mis-valued (I totally invented that word. Hell yeah, I'm the next Virgil), abused works in order to do the one thing that everybody in this room wants to do: get some extra dosh into their pocket. Maybe it starts out as 'giving the artist more coverage and radio play', but soon it's all flashing-lights, overcrowded-schedule, you-have-to-say-and-do-this-to-get-the-paparazzi-talking-about-you-in-the-right-way. It's all 'we're doing this for you', but secretly it's 'we're doing this for us'. I appreciate that there are several people behind the scenes who deserve the credit and reward, but that is what is making the music industry so corrupted and distorted. The artist wants fame, wants wealth, wants luxury... because of the mainstream culture that has been thrust upon them.

Although I'm a whole-hearted music fan, I completely disagree with the fact that it is these artists who are some of the top earners. It's warped. Why should someone who provides such a basic service as clearing our streets of litter, or as cleaning our buildings, earn millions fewer than someone who busts a few tunes? Of course, music reaches further, deeper, able to lift our moods, inspire us, understand us. But that doesn't keep us living (realistically). The world should get real.

So, guys, if in ten years' time you hear about me, it'll be cause I'm causing waves of change in the music industry.

Let's travel back to Eminem.

He's old now. Dare I also say his music sounds way too chirpy or jokes. I know he is one for the jokes and pranks, but that means he can't really be taken seriously for that kind of music. Maybe if he puts out another album (celebrities just don't let it go do they), he might regain that energy and some (not too much) of that solemnity.

OK he's just lost some of my respect. I'm listening to 'Cleanin Out My Closet' (from The Eminem Show) and he called his father a 'faggot'. I've no idea whether his dad actually is gay, but even if he isn't, I hope Eminem doesn't realise that 'faggot' is derogatory. Cause if he was fully aware of it and still used it, then he's going downnnnnn in my books.

[Later Edit: Nope, just researched it, and, assuming this interview is genuine and true, then he says he only uses it because he was taught it as meaning 'coward', 'sissy' etc., and because he doesn't wanna put on a face for the record... Mmyeah. I damn right hope you're being honest Marshall Mathers. Cause if you are, then there's a lot of respect being felt over here.]

Right, this was hard to choose, but

Top Three Eminem songs: 'Without Me', 'Business', and 'My Dad's Gone Crazy' (though I do have put on my feminist hat and condemn his attitude to 'pussy' and 'clit'. But i do admire his lyrics '"if you ain't got nothing nice to say, then don't say anything”...fuck that [...] I'd rather put out a motherfucking gospel record')

Whew, that was some long post. Hope you enjoyed!

xxxx