F you.

'Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you very very mu-u-u-ch'.



You may have watched the video of the week (13.11.09) already and recognise those lyrics. My friend EC sent me this video calling it 'cute', and I expected another of her chipmunk (or something) videos, so you can imagine my surprise when I watched the vid. Plus, I opened it when my dad was having dinner in the room, and when it got to the chorus, it took me a whole five minutes to realise I had to close the damn window. Woopsies.

As I listened to it I thought I recognised the singer as Lily Allen. But I doubted it would be her because I wouldn't usually associate her (a mainstream-ish singer) with the LGBT scene. It turns out that it is her. I don't know why I found it weird; it must be because I see the LGBT scene and the mainstream scene as quite separate, seeing as the mainstream scene is just that homophobic. It could be said that you often see gays in the M scene, but get real – when have the depictions of gays been anything but a camp gay guy with a lisp? I've mentioned this in an earlier post, but in a documentary by the BBC (that featured one of my friends), it was made clear that people in Britain have gross misconceptions of homosexuality, and even more of queer-ness.

The video is, indeed, really cute, and I have not been able to get the song out of my head (yep, it's only in my head, cause I can't sing it aloud when surrounded by fam). And it's funny, especially the bit when one of the guy starts kick his legs up in can-can style. It's just that idea of playing up the gay-ness to rub it into the homophobes' faces isn't it. But most importantly, it's telling you homophobes to suck it up and come to terms with bloody sexuality. I was thinking about this the other day: people say 'I'm not secure about my sexuality'. But people aren't secure about sexuality in general either. Maybe I'm just making things up. Am I mistaken, though, that being insecure about one's own sexuality means not being certain that one is heterosexual and being afraid of being homosexual because of the mockery that that will attract? And that being insecure about sexuality in general means being uncomfortable with the fact that there is a whole other myriad of sexualities?

Human sexuality is just a spectrum though, not a set of categories that people should be pigeon-holed into. Well, people blatantly are pigeon-holed, and that's completely... ridiculous. It's accepted as a concrete fact that heterosexuality is the norm, from the very moment you see the world. Children think that a girl kissing a girl isn't something that should happen. If you're a teenager, everyone makes a big deal of homosexuality. Queers are discriminated against in the workplace. The world (or at least Britain) thinks that homosexuality is a whole other niche, that the people in that niche are 'special'. Take Dumbledore. Yeah, the Harry Potter one. People made SUCH a fat deal about his homosexuality. Then, Rowling admirably said, 'he's just a character who happens to be gay'. If you're a heterosexual, nothing's commented upon. But if you're a homosexual, then that's who you are, you're 'the gay one'. Admittedly, I can't say that I don't see my LGBT friends as 'my LGBT friends'. So, really, I'm a bloody hypocrite, aren't I.

On a sliiiightly unrelated note, I just listened to the words 'Birthday Sex'. Oh my god. The mountains of innuendo (which, thank you very much, I GET!) in there are unbelievable. And I can't believe I never heard the quieter singing of 'I'm gon' hit the G-spot, G-spot'. Just, oh my god. I'm gobsmacked. I knew what the song was about, but I never realised how explicit it was! How is that song even allowed on national radio?!

And I looked up the full lyrics. Jeez.

Yeah, yeah, yeah

{Verse 1}

It's your birthday so I know
you want to riiide out,
Even if we only go to myyy house
Sip mo- weezy as we sit upon myyy couch
Feels good, but I know you want to
cryyy out
You say you want passion
I think you found it
Get ready for action
Don't be astounded
We switchin' positions
You feel surrounded
Tell me where you want
your gift, girl


{Chorus}

Girl you know I-I-I
Girl you know I-I-I
I've been feenin'
Wake up in the late night...dreamin' about your lovin'
Girl you know I-I-I
Girl you know I-I-I
Don't need candles or cake
just need your body to make good

Birthday sex
Birthday sex

It's the best day of the year, girl

Birthday sex
Birthday sex

It feels like, feels like... lemme hit that...g-spot g-spot

{Verse 2}

See you sexy and them jeans got me
on 10
1-2-3, think I got you pinned
Don't tap out...fight until the end
Ring that bell; we gon start over again
We grindin' wit passion, cuz it's yo birthday
Been at it for hours...I know you thirsty
You kiss me so sweetly...taste just like Hershey's
Just tell me how you want yo gift, girl

{Chorus}

{Verse 3}

First I'm gonna take a dive into the water deep until I know I pleased
that body (body ah oop)
Or girl without a broom
I might just sweep you off your feet
And make you wanna tell somebody
(body, how I do)
somebody body how i do
Or maybe we can float on top my water bed you close your eyes as i impry between your legs
We work our way from kitchen stoves, and tables
Girl you know I'm more than able to please, yeah
Say you wanted flowers on the bed (on the bed)
But you got me and now it's on again

{Chours) (it's the best day of the year, girl)
(lemme know what it feels like, feels like, when I hit that G-spot, G-spot)

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The choon is great. But the idea...

I actually had a full discussion with my friend AM about this. I was the conservative grandma. I just hate how – especially in R'n'B by male artists – sex is so carelessly portrayed. It's so completely devalued nowadays, and I'm not advocating a reversal to the olden times where anyone who had sex outside/before marriage were outright criminals, but come on... have some self-respect. God, I sound like one of those lameo girls who think 'Awh, I'm saving my first time for that special boy'... And now I sound like a nymphomaniac. Errrr.....

Gah, as DS put it: why do I even bother with a sense of morality?!

xxxx

p.s. jeez i go on bloody rants about LGBT issues don't I...

a proper blog

OK, let's get serious. Here's your song for the day:



'Without Me' - Eminem

'Now this looks like a job for me, so everybody- just follow me, cause we need a little..controversy, cause it feels so empty without me'. Freakin amazing chorus. Oh and also 'I'm the worst thing since Elvis to do black music so selfishly and use it to get myself wealthy'. Well at least he's honest about himself.

I only rediscovered this song sometime a month ago when I downloaded all of his albums. He is a fookin legend, that guy. I'd been looking for this song for ages and when it randomly came on my shuffle I nearly collapsed. Well, no, I didn't, I was just really happy.

I know I'm not alone in thinking that he's not the rapper he used to be. It really is the mainstream-ness that's ruined him. Starting out in a clearly defined 'rap' pigeonhole meant that he could do his thing, swear all he wants, have that raw 'ghetto' (ok that is not something I can pull off) energy. He's been blown up now though, and the wants of the people and the majority have fed into his music. You see, now, the snares of mainstream culture? ALL AGAINST MAINSTREAM MUSIC.

No? Suit yourself.

You mustn't get the wrong idea, I'm not being snobbish and looking down my nose at all mainstream stuff (...maybe a little) – no, I'm only condemning the mainstreamness that makes initially perfectly alright (and perhaps even amazing) things into overplayed, mis-valued (I totally invented that word. Hell yeah, I'm the next Virgil), abused works in order to do the one thing that everybody in this room wants to do: get some extra dosh into their pocket. Maybe it starts out as 'giving the artist more coverage and radio play', but soon it's all flashing-lights, overcrowded-schedule, you-have-to-say-and-do-this-to-get-the-paparazzi-talking-about-you-in-the-right-way. It's all 'we're doing this for you', but secretly it's 'we're doing this for us'. I appreciate that there are several people behind the scenes who deserve the credit and reward, but that is what is making the music industry so corrupted and distorted. The artist wants fame, wants wealth, wants luxury... because of the mainstream culture that has been thrust upon them.

Although I'm a whole-hearted music fan, I completely disagree with the fact that it is these artists who are some of the top earners. It's warped. Why should someone who provides such a basic service as clearing our streets of litter, or as cleaning our buildings, earn millions fewer than someone who busts a few tunes? Of course, music reaches further, deeper, able to lift our moods, inspire us, understand us. But that doesn't keep us living (realistically). The world should get real.

So, guys, if in ten years' time you hear about me, it'll be cause I'm causing waves of change in the music industry.

Let's travel back to Eminem.

He's old now. Dare I also say his music sounds way too chirpy or jokes. I know he is one for the jokes and pranks, but that means he can't really be taken seriously for that kind of music. Maybe if he puts out another album (celebrities just don't let it go do they), he might regain that energy and some (not too much) of that solemnity.

OK he's just lost some of my respect. I'm listening to 'Cleanin Out My Closet' (from The Eminem Show) and he called his father a 'faggot'. I've no idea whether his dad actually is gay, but even if he isn't, I hope Eminem doesn't realise that 'faggot' is derogatory. Cause if he was fully aware of it and still used it, then he's going downnnnnn in my books.

[Later Edit: Nope, just researched it, and, assuming this interview is genuine and true, then he says he only uses it because he was taught it as meaning 'coward', 'sissy' etc., and because he doesn't wanna put on a face for the record... Mmyeah. I damn right hope you're being honest Marshall Mathers. Cause if you are, then there's a lot of respect being felt over here.]

Right, this was hard to choose, but

Top Three Eminem songs: 'Without Me', 'Business', and 'My Dad's Gone Crazy' (though I do have put on my feminist hat and condemn his attitude to 'pussy' and 'clit'. But i do admire his lyrics '"if you ain't got nothing nice to say, then don't say anything”...fuck that [...] I'd rather put out a motherfucking gospel record')

Whew, that was some long post. Hope you enjoyed!

xxxx

more gayness

'octavia's vagina is purer than your mouth'

Ouch, poor guy. Day 2 of intense 'same-sex relations in ancient Rome' research and I'm not sick of this topic yet! Fascination + amusement = endless fun. Apparently back in the good old days, it was more shameful to be a fellator (ahem, give head) than to be a passive homosexual (be a penetrated male. If you still don't understand, come on, I'm not doing any more explaining). So um, how many people in our society do you think would have been shunned back then?

I have to say, reading these scholar's articles on the topic is slowly doing my head in. Only because I can't tell whether they themselves are pro-LGBT rights or con-. But I'm presuming (which I really shouldn't be doing, going on zero concrete evidence and massive stereotyping) that they are con-, because they lived in the old times, and most scholars are conformists. Okay major stereotyping going on here. I mean, some of them say, who are we to judge, how do we know that we're not wrong by repressing homosexuality in our society, and all that. But, although in our society there is a bit of a taboo surrounding LGBT issues, I sense that some people have to repress their anti-LGBT rights views for fear of being..well massacred.

Our world is full of waves of movements such as the LGBT rights campaigns, and the women's rights campaigns that slowly there is this obsession with doing the right, moral thing. And if you go against these ideas, you're immoral, you're a pig, you're anti-liberal. Etcetera, etcetera. How do we know if you actually want the transgender community to be treated well, or if you're just going along with it to maintain an image of your moral compass?

I can't say much, there are a lot of things that I think I believe in, but in situations of crisis, I've had to re-evaluate my views and find that I actually believe in the 'anti-moral' view. For example (and please, Henrietta Barnett and Frances Mary Buss, wherever your spirits may be, rest in peace..i.e. DON'T KILL ME FOR THIS) I am no feminist. I know, being a woman, I should be out there fighting for my own rights. And I do want my own rights, I'm not saying we shouldn't have them. I'm just of the view that women might have to accept that men are, by nature, better at some things than we are. That doesn't stop us from trying, and doesn't mean there won't be some women who are better at men at those things, but in perspective, you have to be realistic. Men and women are different. That's why (heterosexual) relationships can be hard – we just don't get each other, sometimes. Like, leaving the toilet seat up, having an obsession with making the beds, not expressing your deeper emotions, crying your eyes out into his shoulder... All this mumbo-jumbo hurts both our heads.

Now, into the dank cave that is my life.. went shopping yesterday and bought some halloween gear. I bought my first lipstick! (yeah, late, I know) And then last night I smushed it mistake, by putting the lid down when the lipsticky bit was still up.

BarryM, shade 141.

Quote of the day (from yesterday) comes from mine and EC's conversation. She stuck her middle finger up at me, so I shouted 'Don't finger me!'. And then I realised.

Haha.

xxxx

this is tupac robot club rock.

'This is Tupac robot club rock.'



Great beat, great synthetics (ok that is so the wrong word. what's the word for the electronicy sounds on a song?), great choon. Recommended, as always, by the mighty Zane Lowe, probably about a year or more ago. But, reminded by NME TV, I only downloaded it last night. The dancing in the vid is classic. Observe 2:39. I just can't get enough.
Be sure to check that song out.

Anyway, my main point of today's post is.. nah, read on and find out for yourself.

Most of you readers (if we assume that this blog is actually read by strangers) will not know that I am an IB student. OR maybe you have, if you've inferred it from my past 'FML' posts. So, life isn't all peachy at the moment, what with the simultaneous courseworks being piled on to us. However I have never once regretted my decision to take the IB. I mean, just imagine taking A-Levels. Euch (sorry A-Levellers).

I am actually really enjoying one coursework, and that is my Latin Research Dossier. For it, I am investigating same-sex relations in ancient Rome. Muaha. I was originally doing 'music in ancient Rome'. It was dire. I could find hardly ANY information, music in the ancient world seemed like it would sound absolutely terrible, and the whole idea of Latin coursework at the time was enough to put me to sleep. But since I've started this topic, wahey I actually love doing Latin coursework! Haha you probs all think I'm some sex-obsessed maniac (lol, er, no, I'm not, if you really must know). Don't you find it fascinating to find out about civilisation as it was 2 millenia ago AND what the differences reflect on our own society?

I was doing some reading for it this morning, and one writer (Veyne) rightly pointed out- if homosexuality in ancient Rome was so widespread, does that mean that homosexuality within us is natural, and that perhaps, in our contemporary society, the significance of it is too easily repressed and too hastily dismissed as immoral? No doubt many of you will be reminded by this topic of Nick Griffin's comment that he finds the image of two guys kissing 'creepy'. Alright, I, being pro-LGBT rights, vehemently disagree with him on this point. But can you really say you don't find it creepy? Can you really say that most of our society does not find it creepy? Even I can't really say that.

I have a lot of LGBT friends, and what hit me really hard was, watching a documentary on BBC Two, realising that homosexuality in Britain is grossly misrepresented, especially by the media. If you said the word 'gay' to a number of Britons today, some of the first things they would think of may be two gay men, a 'tranny', but, in general, something to be humoured and not taken seriously. You have to admit, Britons find homosexuality funny, and this is reflected in the fact that it is so often mocked in comedies. What's more, you can see what a society's attitude towards a concept is, just by looking at their language. And how many times have you heard people use the word 'gay' in place of 'stupid'? Hearing one of my guy friends carelessly throw the comment 'you're so gay' around angered me to the edge. CLEAN YOUR LANGUAGE UP, DAMMIT!

So. The point of today's post.
-Zane Lowe is a legend (again with the Radio 1 plugs, haha)

-I love the IB

-I'm a sex-obsessed nymphomaniac
-I am a neek who loves doing Latin coursework

-You are secretly gay. So get real.

And I shall end with this.

You gotta give it to him: he passes well for a pretty fit woman...

xxxx

PS, yes I wrote this at 7 in the morning, the only reason for that being that I got up early to do...wait for it...LATIN COURSEWORK! Love you all.
PPS. If any of you QYN-ers are reading, don't kill me!

What Is this

Liking girls when you're a girl. Liking boys when you're a boy. It's not homosexuality. It is, but it's not.

"If a girl found another girl attractive, i.e. was attracted to them, it means they're a lesbian."

WRONG.

Or at least, massive, hasty presumption.

The thing is, the kind of people who say 'that girl is so fit' are deemed 'not real lesbians who are just attention-seeking hos'. Because they wouldn't engage in a relationship with girls. Because all they want is the sex.

But um, imagine a guy saying 'that girl is so fit'. Who, in their right mind, would say 'those guys are not real straighties, they're just attention seeking hos'?

So the view on 'fake lesbians' is not valid cause in this case the meaning of sexuality has been forgotten. Lesbians =/= only girls who fall in love with girls.

xxxx